Monday, 27 April 2015

10 Things All Instagram Lovers Will Relate To

I need to know if anyone else feels this way about Instagram...

1) You follow every healthy eating account that you can find in the hope that they will inspire you to eat chia seeds and go to the gym daily. You almost start trying to be more healthy when they post a photo of their weekly cheat meal… if they can eat burgers and still have abs maybe eating burgers is the way for you to live a healthier lifestyle too?

2) Although you are a regular user, you occasionally forget that you can’t zoom into Instagram photos. Out of the handful of times that you double tap in an attempt to zoom, you will be stalking an ex/someone you barely know and you will accidentally like a really old photo of theirs. Because nothing says stalker than a like on a photo posted more than a year ago *insert thumbs up emoji*.

3) On the subject of Instagram stalking, you will sometimes get into a never ending stalking loop. You want to have a quick look at a friend’s photos when you see that they have tagged someone in a photo who you also want to stalk. You end up clicking onto their profile and onto another and onto another, until you are tapping your way through photos of people that you don’t even know. The only way for the stalking loop to end is to find your way back to the original person you were stalking or until you click on to someone that has a private profile.

4) You will judge people for being unoriginal and posting a stereotypical photo of a sunset/poached eggs with avocado/the New York skyline, despite those being the only photos that you post yourself.

5) When you are on holiday you take the most Instagram-able photos of all time and you can’t wait for the world to see your masterpieces. However you accidentally miscalculate the time difference between your holiday destination and home meaning that you miss the peak Instagram times. No one sees the photos and you get no likes, the shame…

6) When you upload a photo you spend a good ten minutes testing out every single filter option even though you always go for your standard choice (Valencia).

7) If you get a notification saying that someone has commented on your selfie, you feel like the most popular person in the world. Then you see that it is just a random self-promoter with a ‘lyk 4 lyk’ comment or someone that you have never met telling you that your brows are ‘on fleek’, whatever that means.

8) You sometimes have to let your friend borrow your phone to look at someone’s Instagram that they can’t access because it is private and your friend doesn’t want to go through the shame of requesting a follow. This will also be the day when you have been searching weird hashtags or stalking strange people and your search history pops up for your friend to see. Sometimes a girl just wants to look at old photos of Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy ankles without anyone finding out, okay?

9) You legitimately feel annoyed when no one has posted anything since you last checked your phone (three minutes ago).

10) You know that all of the above problems are the biggest first world problems ever and you slightly hate yourself for caring about Instagram so much.

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